Vent post:/ mental health

So i’ve been seeing a new psychology and she’s so sweet but i feel like i’m going nowhere, right now i’m in a rlly bad place and feels like i need emergency help, i juts can’t keep like this anymore... told her the suicidal thoughts are coming back and the fact that my cat have recently die isn’t helping, there’s moments i cannot see other option than die and my thoughts keep getting harder to handle, making me a risk for myself  and others. My parents told me to look for a psychiatrist (finally after years) and i’m afraid of being hospitalized but i know i can’t by myself so let’s see how it goes /: