(CW for body image, mental health, self harm)
I look back at my younger self and I feel pity.
I see a young girl who had the light taken from her eyes too young.
I see the girl who wanted to be a dancer,
Who was told at seven years old she wasn't skinny enough
So she had to leave to find another passion.
I look back at my younger self and feel lonely.
All those years sitting alone at lunch,
Wanting so desperately to make friends;
But the words could never leave her mouth,
So she kept quiet.
I look back at my younger self and feel angry.
The way she had to keep quiet about her problems.
All of the "Well at least"s.
Never being able to express herself,
Because she was never taken seriously.
I look back at my younger self and feel sorrow.
She was so angry,
So afraid,
Never feeling right in her own skin.
Clawing and tearing at it so that maybe
She could find beauty underneath.
I think about her a lot these days.
She endured so much,
And I'm proud of her.
She did all that she could.
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