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here it comes
the weeks of neglect
rotting my teeth
straining my eyes
ruining my stomach, as the very few things I consume are damaging, but very the few things I find enjoyable
harming my skin in both laziness,
or what society calls being “Lazy,” and intrusive ways
substances that tar my lungs; substances that make me feel like I’m floating through this nonexistent reality
messing up what is thought of as a teenager's reason to live
maybe I enjoy self-destruction
I do things that fuel my anxiety and outweigh the short-term happiness and relief.
yet I go back to them
I continue to neglect my body
teeth
eyes
stomach
skin
lungs
my reason to live
the reason that makes me cry so many mornings and if I’m not crying, I’m in another reality
it’s hard to see through the foggy memories
shit, I have no idea what I’ve been hearing or reading for months now
but I’m too “Lazy” to change
I just lay in bed and sleep
drifting through yet another reality
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C0nt3ssa