letter 1

This is how I got out of my labyrinth and learned to finally live. You read the word live and think I must be going mad because in the literal sense the word means to be alive. Of course you and I are living, everything that is breathing on this Earth is alive yet most of them still aren’t living.

   We all have a labyrinth each one is different mine was heartbreak or shall I say unrequited love. Yes, I am young but I was fortunate enough to find someone who just by glancing in my direction made my entire day. The thought of being there with them but not being with them crushed my very soul little by little until I pushed away the one person who understood my every word, every movement, every breath. 

I fell in love 

     In fact I loved them so much that I pushed them away so they could go live and find their own labyrinth. But while doing so I lost my will to live and watched my labyrinth become a dark and scary place that I never wanted to be in. Although I was alone and scared in hole of my own thoughts and feelings. I never cared cause they were happy and for some reason that seemed to be enough for me at the time. 

      When you truly love something you give up on yourself if you have too just to make that one person happy. But now after escaping my labyrinth I realized that it wasn’t you I loved. I loved the idea of loving someone who reminded me of all the things I wanted to be. You were funny, cute, smart, and always knew what to say to make other people happy. I later found out that you did that because you yourself was not happy but that is for another time. Just know that you were my “Great Perhaps” and I forgive you for everything that has happened. 

       Now what is a “Great Perhaps”. A “Great Perhaps” to me means something that is so amazing and full of love that the only thing it can be is a great perhaps. When you’re in a labyrinth what you look for is a way out but instead of finding my light.All I found was you my tall great perhaps. Which is why I just fell deeper into a darker and scarier labyrinth of heartbreak. 

       I got a perhaps a big maybe when I needed a light to help me live.