songs i relate to pt1

"brains, i'm not so rich but hell i'm smart. love me. love me, please. or break my heart. this is all very neat. this is all very smart and this had better come to a stop. don't touch me! don't condescend. this had better come, this had better come to a, this, this, this, this, this had better come to an end! this had better come to an end." - this had better come to a stop, falsettos

"i just use the word to emphasize a point, show the passion that i've got, i am passionate a lot. i have mad, gigantic feelings. red and frantic feelings, about most everything. like gun control, like spring. like if i'm living up to all i'm meant to be, i also have a touch of ADD." - i love play rehearsal, be more chill

"life's more painless, for the brainless. why think too hard? when it's so soothing, dancing through life. no need to tough it, when you can sluff it off as i do. nothing matters but knowing nothing matters, it's just life." - dancing through life, wicked

"tell me, what was the impetus? sorry, look in my eyes. really, this is ridiculous. jesus, how i despise your need for stupid conversion! you are trying to ruin my sleep! i'm sure you chose him to make me look bad! how could you ever deny what we had?" - marvin hits trina, falsettos

"telephone wire, stop, too fast. telephone wire, make this not the past. this car ride, this is where it has to happen! there must be some other chances! there's a moment i'm forgetting, where you tell me you see me? say something, talk to me! say something, anything! at the light, at the light, this can't be our last-!" - telephone wire, fun home

"here's a dance, i might try to make. i'm not so lucid about it but i'm sure of the path that the arms must take and the feet don't move. i found a word. it was a queer little thing with lots of regret. i had a way with words, and yet i'm through with words. that's it for words. here's my chance to survive, to survive the night. here's my chance to survive, to survive the night. to survive the day, to survive my life! in the most very natural, most unremarkable way." - my chance to survive the night, in trousers

"not your seed, i'm not your perfect teen. i'm fucking seventeen, at least i was before you left me. why does it hurt to love you? why am i in pain? why does it hurt to know you? you let me down again. if i turned my insides out, would you even know that i was there? why does it hurt to love you? why does it hurt to love?" - not your seed, the guy who didn't like musicals

honestly this entire song is so relatable but this one specific parts KILLS me. "it's the scores that go unanswered and unsatisfied: the growing up, the falling down. the throwing up, the shame. the silent prayers, the nausea. the game. it's anxiety when you recall, girls who touch you when you're walking down the hall. nausea before the game, nausea before the game. it's the promise of a perfect life, a perfect house. a perfect wife she'll be. it's the promise of a perfect star, who's me." - the nausea before the game, in trousers

"i'm trying to take it slowly, i'm trying to be my best. i'm trying to be more holy, less bitter and depressed. i'm reading eckhart tolle, he makes a lot of sense. i bought a buddhist bowl, he says it helps you be less tense. IT DOESN'T DO A THING FOR ME! i sit there on the floor and watch a vivid sequence of humiliating incidents from my past go by, and think what kind of masochist keeps coming back for more! when she knows what's gonna happen 'cuz it never doesn't happen! 'cuz it always-! always-! NO! i know what's gonna happen. don't tell me that i don't and don't say that i'll rise to the occasion 'cuz i won't! and don't say i've got talent! and don't say i've got heart! and don't say that i'm clever 'cuz i know i'm pretty smart! i'm smart enough to know that i'm too stupid to admit, you can't survive a diet that consists of shit! the trick is knowing when it's time to pack your bags and say "that's it!" you know what's gonna happen, i know what's gonna happen. here's what's gonna happen, i quit! i quit! i quit!" - what's gonna happen, tootsie

"love me for what i am, not what i try to be. love me for what i am, i am a person who likes to lie too much. i try to much to impress other people, often my inferiors. could you like a girl like that? could you like a girl like that? would you hold her in your arms? could you like a girl like that? could you like a girl like that? could you like a girl like that?" - love me for what i am, in trousers

"you play 'til it's perfect, you play 'til you ache. you play 'til the strings or your fingernails break. so you'll rock that recital and get into yale. so you won't feel so sick and you won't look so pale. 'cause you've got your full ride and your early admit. so you're done with this school and with all of this shit. and you graduate early, you're gone as of may and there's nothing your paranoid parents can say. and you know that it's just a sonata away, and you play, and you play. and everything else goes away. everything else goes away. everything else goes away." - everything else, next to normal

"so i sleep in a bed too big for one person. i'm big for one person but this bed is bigger than both of us... another sleepless night alone in bed. the sun will fly, and does. another book you thought was best unread has proved indeed, it was." - another sleepless night, in trousers

"life is never what you planned. life is moments you can't understand and that is life. holding to the ground as the ground keeps shifting. trying to keep sane as the rules keep changing. keeping up my head as my heart falls out of sight. everything will be alright, everything will be alright." 

- holding to the ground, falsettos