a really bad thing i did earlier today

during lunch, out of frustration, i told my friends that i didnt care about my friend (who used to be my boyfriend) and i didnt want him to sit with us :(

theres more to the story, but i dont feel like explaining it right now. i might later, or if someone asks i'll do it. im just going to put it out there that hes still very much into me. hes always following me around in school, walking me from class to class, texting me on snapchat... all very sweet things, but too much in quantity and it starts to get annoying. i also dont have any feelings at all for him, so thats why hes still my best friend. i know its hard on him. this is why people say you cant stay friends with your exes. if someone still likes the other, its not going to work well.

i was walking to my homeroom and there he was, waiting for me. i felt really bad when he walked beside me and talked to me, completely oblivious as to what i said just two classes before.

he asked the classic, "hows class?"

"good," i responded sluggishly.

he noticed i was feeling down. "you know, if you ever want to talk, im here for you," he bellowed as we neared the door.

"thank you. im here for you, too." i always backhand responses. im like rubber, whatever you say to me, i'll say right back. "bye, (NAME)."

"cya." i walked inside the classroom.
(END OF SCENE)

lmao my bad writers side is showing there. i still feel really bad, and rightfully so. just because he annoys me, it doesnt mean i can say something as impudent as saying i dont care about him. because i do. i really do. i care for all of my friends in a deep way. i cant even describe how much i care for them. theyre so amazing. i just did not think before speaking. he deserves better than me. im the last choice for everything. i just do not know what he sees in me. im ugly inside and out. (-; im not talking to my friends right now. i'll probably talk about this to my friend during seventh period, the only class i have him in. words can work. i hope it all goes away tomorrow. tomorrow is friday, after all. tomorrow is another day.