19/09/2021

ok well today was interesting i guess kinda i rlly struggled to find clothes to wear and made the stupid decision of wearing thin socks and it rubbed my shoes and it killed my feet so rip to my feet. i went to jims which was cool bc i like playing mc on his pc butttt he is just so very obsessed with touching me and it makes me feel weird especially when i know he's told other girls the exact same things but then he'd be like nooo i love you and im like noooo you dont. it sucks bc he's very nice to me and all but overprotective which can be cute but not cute when u read the messages in that massive gc he was in with his other gf who he was all protective over there ugh and he just loved her so much more than he loved me i can tell even tho he 'chose me' it still sucks knowing he would never be sorry if i never knew and he only chose me bc of how much it hurt me and he'd have to see me irl like i read their messages and she knew so much much more about him than i knew about him and it sucks i was his gf for like months and she knew him for a month and they were already so much closer guess it just goes to show how im a shit gf?? i should've been there for him more or something i guess. it's very hard  to believe he cares about me tbh at the moment i only really text josh well archie too but he's being weird said he's gonna stop talking to me because he's jealous apparently. anyways gonna stop being so sad bc josh reminded me im going out with him on monday not tomorrow next monday but yeahhhhh and he's very nice to me he makes me happy so that's cool. and he just mentioned that he wanted to like book cinema and dinner after and that sounds epic tbh a bit like my weird first date when i was 12 but that was with paddy oh no i haven't written a blog on paddy yet it would go on for hours and probably get the police on me or something so i guess its best i don't but that would be fun to rant about i guess. maybe a private one mmmm