Gia!! 🌱's profile picture

Published by

published
updated

Category: Life

My many hyperfixations

I really enjoy speaking/writing about things that happened to me or things that I have experienced, and one of them is hyperfixations. I've had some really intense ones over the years and I thought I should write and reflect on them, so this blog entry and the other one is about hyperfixations I've had in the past. Enjoy!

When you hyperfixate, something becomes your whole world. It's all you can think about, and all you can talk, write, and even just communicate about. 

Honestly the first time I remember having an intense hyperfixation was in the summer after 6th grade. I had been into other things before then (The Baby-Sitter's Club, Bratz, Lilly Singh, etc.) but nothing as intense as this. It started when I got an Apple Music account and started downloading some music, and I downloaded Billie Jean by Michael Jackson.

(yes i had an mj phase yes it was embarassing let's move on)

That started up some intense crap in me- cause one minute I just enjoyed his music and the next I knew every single song he had ever put out.
I used to watch people who made videos about him with a PASSION- like it was as if I was religious. But eventually I wanted to make some friends who liked him as much as I did. So I decided to get a social media- and I signed up for a Google+ account.

I still can't believe out of all the sites I could've chosen, I chose Google+. As if I was 40 years old or something...

Anyways, I joined a bunch of MJ related communities and "circles" (basically like groups on here) and encountered some cool people but some weird ones as well. Some people literally thought Michael was Jesus incarnate. Like for REAL. It was immensely odd, but I was just a 12 year old looking for friends so I just went with it.

Eventually I left the site because Google shut it down, and I moved to Wattpad, which is where I picked up my next obsession- Panic! at the Disco- Brendon Urie in particular.

When I say I was fixated on Brendon Urie, I mean it. I thought about him constantly, and since my social media site of choice was Wattpad, that means I read fanfics and wrote fanfics about him too, as well as other Panic! members. You can still find some of my old Ryden fics up on that site now. It also meant I was cringey as all hell but hey- at least I met some of my closest friends there so... win-win ig?

Wattpad is also where I picked up a My Chemical Romance fixation too, which led to an alt-bandom phase. Whomever says you can't fixate on two things at once is full of crap, cause I did it for a straight up year in a half. I spent a whole summer talking to people online, watching videos, and reading articles and fanfics about nothing but MCR and P!ATD. It was all I could even think about when it came to conversations, and is probably why people in my real life found me so irritating.

This lasts until about March 2019, aka the start of COVID. I was stuck at home and very susceptible to new fixations. This is when I re-discovered YouTubers. After a quick Dan and Phil fixation, I fell in love with Thomas Sanders, and his series Sanders Sides. I abandoned Wattpad for Twitter and joined his fandom there, and that lasted from about April to November, when my bandom fixation made a huge comeback. 

That's right, my emo phase came back full force, and it was highkey embarrassing too... (cont. in next post)


0 Kudos

Comments

Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )