i am on here at 3am, wondering what the fuck is my life and also I need knew friends.
i am not gonna tell friends of this account but instead welcome to my new very public diary, best part? no one will know who i am.
dear diary,
I've had no one to share this with but i am 6 months self harm clean and to be honest I hate it. I miss being who I was, I hate feeling better.
i used to survive days on no sleep, now all i do is sleep.
o miss crying and screaming so loud yet so silent, i miss the way the razor felt against my skin, i miss not eating of days and i miss how all of it made me feel.
yeah it sounds bad but honestly i miss the rage. And that part of me was strong and no one could get through me. Now i cry every time someone asks me " are you okay?" No bitch I'm not but i don't ant you knowing.
my mental health is a better compared to last year or the last 7 years of my life but my physical health is so bad like i could die right now.
that's all i have to say today (13.04.2001)
Nothing but love, jay<3
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