Hopeless?

Yo Kitsune Here!!!

I really want to stop thinking about some of the stuff I do man, I'm only making myself upset by constantly stating my girl issues, my thoughts are getting worse each day. I know I'm being broad on the term thoughts but it's just me thinking of issues there might be with me like I don't know if it's myself physically or my personality or my sayings or what. It's genuinely taking a toll on my mental health cause its not really something that can be glossed over like I can distract myself for a little while but then I will realise that I'm just sitting there watching videos or whatever it is I'm doing and then I stop for a bit and think of what I could of done wrong. I'm exaggerating this thought period it's usually only a minute or two but it's still there and adds up over time.

I think this is just how I feel when left alone for a while cause Mr Rat hasn't been online today cause there's sum issues with his WiFi and I usually talk to him quite a bit. Recently when I've been with the person I liked (I'm saying liked because even though I'm still attracted to her a small amount I don't want to give myself any wiggle space for potential thoughts) I didn't really think about much relationship stuff it was just more being awkward around her now knowing how she feels so I felt like I was getting better but now that I'm alone with my thoughts I just think about stuff that could (not) of been and such...

I am very sorry for filling my blogs up with this garbage no one wants to read it really, I use this only as replacement for talking to Mr Rat about these issues cause I feel like I bother him a lot with it and it just takes up his time to hear me vent, he already knows a lot more than I'd tell most. I know that most people on here won't be able to stand reading essentially what is the same blog post over and over again but with a different date and small variations, I really do wish to change what I put on here and focus on the stuff I want to but it's hard and I'll recover when I can. There's going to be a very nice day coming up so my spirits will be lifted then.

Published by Kitsune

Hopeless?

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