DAY 1- April 11, 2022

OKAY!

I feel so lost and empty tbh, I don't have a solid idea on what I want to do with my life. I mean, I am pursuing illustration in university at the moment but everything feels so forced and overwhelming? I like drawing, I'm decent though I wouldn't quite say I'm "AMAZINGLY TALENTED" in that part. As years passed, timeline wise; from grade 9-12 (HS 2017-2021), I stopped drawing even though I took AP arts and all. I was so unmotivated to pursue anything else because I know I have no other "talent", I'm horrible academically as in mathematics, literature, sciences, and such. I feel as if I'm a failure to my family, my peers, and professors. I've tried drawing again more, though I have this horrible problem where I compare myself with other people whom have longer experiences in their work. I don't know what to do, I'm just scared. I'm scared about my future, I'm scared about what will happen to me, I'm afraid of the judgement of my family, everyone. 

 I just want to waste my life away by sleeping and doing NOTHING. WOOOooW exaggerate much? Yeah.. 

Anyways, here a picture of Paul Dano I find funny.