day 1: bea //vent (tw: ex lover, manipulation)

So, i have this ex-lover. Let's call her bea. We were together for 2 years. It's great, or so it was. The problems? Well, the relasionship was unhealthy and a bit toxic. We always argued for the stupedist shit. She would gaslight the shit out of me. "I never said that.." "Oh really? Give me proof." Type of shit. She used to be very.. uh.. depressed? And, I kind of. Over-boosted her ego. I guess she took it as a.. "I'm better than everyone" thing. She was very down on herself, and I would over-complement her and put so much effort of love into everything. I of course, had my issues too. I, as well as her, struggled w/ self-worth too. She had an inferiority type of complex or something of that subject. Because of this self-doubt.. She would guilt-trip me into kissing her. She would make comments that because I was tired and she would make a sad tone of voice and say that she was nasty, or dirty. "Oh.. You don't want to kiss..? Am I nasty..? or dirty to you?" Since then, like 1+ year ago, she has improved very much. She struggles way less with mental illnesses. There's the occasional stuff, of course, but other than that she has a very high ego and thinks highly of her and her actions. Now, she thinks shes..never wrong. I could tell her something i personally felt was a fact, and she would go out of her way to be right and prove she knew more. Even about my own animals. I of course, have had my moments where I wasn't the healthiest either. But, sometimes I just don't get it. The last couple of months of our "relashionship" was a hiliarious joke(/s). It was a shitty ending. Towards the end, she was so terribly distant. She avoided my calls, messages, my invitaions to hang out. She would bully me, and humiliate me in front of people that were her friends. She would allow her friends to talk shit about me and never tell me. If her friends were being dicks, she would not give a fuck. It was stressful. When we broke up, yes, I did ask her to stay. I felt like she was the only person who cared. But, she left me. I asked her out the next day. The thing is, I knew she was bad for me, and she was shitty, but I didnt wanna loose someone I cared for. I begged her, which was pathetic. I was so damn pathetic. I just wanted her to love me. A week before she was kissing me and telling me she loved me so much. It was our anneversary too. She had lied to me. She had led me on, and left me. 2 years, right? Wow. I had my birthday on the 28th of August at Itz Pizza. I invited my ex, as we were still friends. And, a few extra friends. She said her mom told her no. I was at Itz with everyone else, and I was at the laser tag area. Guess who I saw? My ex, her friend, and her best friend. I almost cried. I said, "Oh, I thought you couldn't come." Guess what this petty bitch said? "Oh you didn't say it was here." and walked away. Wow. That night, I messaged her. Amgry, fuming with her bullshit. She had lied to me, and ditched me. Anger was rushing in me. My mind was racing. I got so pissed, man. She lied her way out, saying she never knew. Disgusting. She said her mom made her block me so she told me goodbye. That's all.  A month after we broke up, she decides she has a boyfriend now. Fuck her. She told me to get over it.