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It is happening again. Everything that I fear, everything that happened. My reality is crumbling around me and nothing I do will stop it. It just keeps cracking. I fret something will happen and then it does. My dreams plagued me never ending of how it was. How I was shunned and now it is here again. How I will never be the only one. How I am not needed. I am only evil, only breaking everything constantly. I should know by now that there is no hope for me. I'll never have my chance again. God will not will it. Everytime my foot paces a step forward I am shoved back down to the floors.
I am no one special. I will never be the special person for anyone. They will all leave me, and I'll rot the way I deserve. I suck the life from others. Their energy is drained until they cannot take it anymore and cast me out. This attention I crave, I cannot have. Not without hurting everyone around me. I am no beautiful creature of the night, just a social vampire. A parasyte.
Love was just a short dream. Nothing tangible for me. I will never be worthy of it.
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