becoming myself

when you are not granted the freedom to find yourself from a young age, you eventually become a shell of a person you were meant to be. I, however, feel as though I am a shell of a person that I used to be. sometimes when i look to my heart to become the person I once was, my brain does not comply. Though I feel a much melancholier and more dreadful version of myself now, I was myself, am myself, and will continue to be myself all throughout time. I am so small in this timeline and world, that I fear nobody will know who I am, even myself. I fret that I as a person am not very memorable, and I want to change that, because with time I wish not to be forgotten. I must learn to accept that I am changing, either for the better or worse, and that I will not be the same person right now as I will be tonight, just as I will not be the same person now as I will be 60 years from now. Who I was, am, and will be is determined through my choices, my environment, the people I am with and how I react to situations. I am redefining myself several times every second, and I am always a clean slate of who I want to be. I know not yet what I want to be, and I pray I can escape the hellhole im living in and do something. become something of this clean slate.