Report Blog Entry
SO...
i'm just now remembering about this crown i used to have that i got in like 3rd grade. It was something plastic and cheap and really bendable (it was from dollar tree so what did i expect.) but idk the idea of owning it made me feel a way, like i was an 'it girl', up until my mom accidently broke it 💀
i seriously can't wait till summer. literally every single freaking day this week i've been doing homework lots and staying up until 1-2 am, i'm actually supposed to be completing a science assignment rn but i'm taking a break to write this.
my plans for summer? relax and prepare for freshman year. i'm going to be doing some volunteering mainly because i'm always stuck in the house 25/8 and my life is boring. i want some excitement and i have 0 friends. so it'd be nice to actually get to possibly talk to someone.
also the other day it hit me about how freaking depressing it is to have no friends actually. i remember there was this one time around last year where i was having a nice time by myself and i had my google home thingy playing some music and it was playing some music from 2016. then all of a sudden 'don't let me down' by daya and the chainsmokers started playing and i legit stopped everything i was doing and sobbed in my bed bc me and my old bestfriend used to listen to that song on the bus in the mornings and make musicllys to it.
i really miss her tbh. we fell out, but she still has a place in my heart, i really hope she's okay. I haven't talked to her since her birthday which was in May of last year. it wasn't even a real convo, but school was about to end, and i was spending the nights staying up and doing nothing important. I literally waited till the clock hit 12am and took the time to text her. She was all like 'all thank you! :)' and then i said you're welcome, then it was over. I mean i shouldn't have really expected much. Her just leaving it at that was better than her trying to have some forced awkward convo and then us not talking for another year.
the sad part (to me) though is the fact that later on that year on my birthday, i posted a picture on my WhatsApp status of me, and captioned it 'happy birthday 2 me' just something simple for my close family and friends. she was one of the first people to see it, and she didn't wish me a happy birthday lol 💀 at first i was mad af and i was like 'yknow what, that's the last she'll ever hear from me' and i made some dumb promise to myself that i wasn't gonna wish her a happy birthday ever again. it sounds petty ik.
Sometimes i still imagine what it would be like if her and i were still friends and attended the same school. My life would be more fun ofc and i'd most likely be doing cheer. I remember in 4th grade we were so hyped up for middle school and we said we'd try out for cheer together. it makes me rlly sad.
i'm a little jelous of her deep down inside but i'm also happy for her that she got to do something she really wanted to do.
anyways imma end it here bc i feel like crying and i gotta finish schoolwork, byeeee
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
ocularskewer
i hope you feel better soon
thank u
by Chanel ✧･ﾟ:; ; Report