WHERE is LEWBERT?!?!?! - Spencer Shay

HEYYY to you people who LOVE my little sister Carly's web show! It is I, Spencer (her brother, in case ya don't know). So, Freddie tells me that a lotta you guys have been sending text-messages to iCarly.com asking what our psycho doorman LEWBERT has been up to. He's been "absent" from work the past couple of weeks, so we're wondering where Lewbert is, too. So we emailed his mother to ask her where her freakish son Lewbert has been. Here's the nice email she wrote back to us: EMAIL FROM LEWBERT'S MOM (AGE 56) Dear people at iCarly, Shut up! I ain't seen Lewbert in over 2 years! Who gave you people my email address? I hate mayonnaise! And I'm GLAD Lewbert moved outta my house 2 years ago. You don't got no idea what a pain in the butt it is havin your 38 year old son livin in your dang CLOSET! I hated it! I'd always walk in and find him sniffin' my shoes! And Lewbert stinks like uh animal! (But I do love that boy). Shut up!!! You think Lewbert's NORMAL?!?! HE AIN'T! You wanna know some stuff Lewbie did as a kid?!?!? Here's a list!!!... When he was 5, Lewbert picked his nose WITH A FORK! When he was 7, he BIT OFF one of his own TOES! When he was 9, he had a birthday party but NOBODY SHOWED UP! (I laughed my butt off. HA!!!) When he was 12, his cheek wart started to grow. HE NAMED IT "MR. FACE-LUMP." When he was 15, I caught him eatin worms he found under a WET LOG! Shut up!!! When he was 19, he fell out a car that was goin 90 miles an hour! (His wart popped, but two weeks later it was puffy again.) When he was 22, he asked a girl to marry him. She had hairy legs and said NO (then she called the cops). When he was 30, I accidentally slammed my car door on his tongue. I left him there for two hours. HA!!! He couldn't even call for help because his tongue was skwished in the car door! HAHAHAHAA!!! When he was 35, he won 7 million dollars in the state lottery... SO I FLUSHED HIS WINNING TICKET DOWN THE TOILET! THEN I SAID, "TOUGH LUCK, LEWBERT!" HE CRIED LIKE A BABY DUCK! LOL! So, anyway, I don't know where Lewbert is. Now SHUT UP! Best Regards,