My forced coming out and my fams reaction

With that out of the way, let's get back to the story.

This took place around 2018/ 2019 ( yes...2018....again :,)) It was on a weekend and my parents woke us up to go and have breakfast. I dont remember the details on how it happened, but my sis wanted to check my phone for some reason and I let her, but telling her to not go in this or that chat since people told me a few secrets and so did I. As specially with my cousin. And what did she do? That's right. She looked inside every single chat. Even the one with my cousin who is/was Bi and I told her that I think I am as well. 

My sis showed me the messages and I was just shaking. We argued a bit until my father yelled at us to finally come down to have breakfast. So I wiped away my tears and tried to calm down, went down with my sis and whike eating I didn't even look up a single time (which I do to this day and idk if that was a factor tho). Out of nowhere she asked me if I wanted to tell our other sister about this and I told her "idk. I don't really want to" "but she deserves to know about this as well" I was once again shaking and didn't say anything. 

After I while I put my dishes away and walked back to our bedroom where I quickly tried to delete my chats, but my sis joined me shortly after and stopped me. Then my other sis went upstairs and asked me what was up and I just looked at my sis and she was like "come on. Tell her what's up." I shook my head and she started to tell her everything. I was crying and then my other sis was crying and telling me "No this can't be. You can't like girls. That's unnatural and disgusting. It's just a phase. You can be cured from that, but please tell me this is a joke" I was so frustrated and hurt about all the things she said to me and started to argue with her while tears went down my face. I said " it's not a phase. Back when I was younger I thought so as well, but didn't know that it's called Bisexuality. I even told you guys that I feel more like a boy rather than a boy and u laughed at me and told me no. Do you know how much it hurts to see that your own family doesn't support you and accepts you for who you are and rather say it's some sort of illness. I will not spread it when I touch you *was about to put my finger on her, but she quickly kept a distance and didn't even want to be near me* ITS NOT A VIRUS. STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC." My sis then joined and said "well back then I also thought that I like girls, since it was such a trend, but then I realized that I am very straight. So trust me when I say that it's just just a phase." My other sis: " look I don't have anything against....you know....those people  but they should not come near me (keep that phrase in mind)" 

This was kinda forgotten and after a while (not so long ago. About 1 month or so) my cousin came over and we talked about how old people are scared of me when I wear all black, chains, boots and thick eyeliner. My other sis was like "well if I were them I would do the same thing. Besides that style doesn't suit you. You should look more feminine and natural." We than had a lil discussion about different styles and then she came with the phrase "my generation is better than yours" "at least my generation is more open minded and not so homophobic" "my generation is not close minded" "oh so you weren't the one who said "I don't have anything against gay people, they just should be near me"?" "....I NEVER SAID SMTH LIKE THAT" "YOU DID. WHY ARE YOU DENYING IT NOW. U TOLD ME ITS UNNATURAL, DISGUSTING AND A MENTAL ILLNES" "WHERE TF DID YOU GET THIS IDEA. I NEVER SAID THAT" "YOU DID. I MAY BE FORGETFUL BUT THAT SHIT IS BURNED INSIDE MY MEMORY*I wanted to continue, but my sis told me to stop it*" 

So she just gaslighted the whole thing and made me look like I am the crazy one infront of my cousin. What she doesn't know is that I told my cousin about that long ago when I came out to her and my other cousin. 

To this day she is denying it and whenever the topic LGBTQ+ comes up they shut their mouth and just stare at me. 

I didn't even want to come out to them since i know how what the combination between them and queer people are. I never wanted to tell them. They made me do it. It should be up to me who I want to come out to. Not the other way around.