Spencer's WEIRD Holiday Traditions - Carly Shay

So, the holidays around my house are a little DIFFERENT. Let me tell you about a few of Spencer's not-so-normal holiday traditions: Instead of stockings, Spencer hangs his crazy socks around the house and fills them with sausages Always carves the turkey with a chainsaw Makes gigantic Santa Clause sculptures using butter and whipped cream Dresses up like an elf, hides behind trash cans, and jumps out at old people screaming, "Merry Christmas, I'm the largest elf in the *land." (PS: people usually hate this. One old lady called the police) Puts on special purple pants and sings "The Twelve Days of Christmas" on the roof of our building. Mixes Wahoo punch and ginger ale to create his traditional semi-famous fizzy Christmas drink. Makes me dress up like Santa and asks, "Hey, Santa. Where's your fat?" Makes his famous holiday egg nog, gives it to strangers, then asks them, "So how does my nog taste?" Spencer buys 16 Christmas trees, fills our apartment with them, and makes me answer the door and say, "Welcome to Spencer's Happy *Tree Emporium." PS: The mailman now leaves our mail in the hall. Spencer goes to the mall and tells little children that Santa's real name is Ralph O'Malley.