i want to be ok

   I wish my brain can shut up i wish i can shut up i wish the whole world could shut up i just want everything to go quiet and everything to be okay i don wanna be reminded every fucking second how much of a fuck up i am and i don't wanna be here anymore i sincerely cannot anymore and im so close so so so close to giving up everything is so shitty everyone is so shitty i want to be ok i want to be ok i want to be ok i want to be ok i want to be ok i want to be ok why cant i be ok why cant i be ok like why why why why is there always all these comments and all these thoughts i hate the way my brain works i hate the way i think i hate the thoughts flowing in my head i hate the issues i hate the memories i hate everything about it because its so shitty and i can only handle so much I’ve  handled everything in my life and its just slowly getting to me how much more I’ve  gotta handle and i feel like im gonna break soon and i feel like im gonna fall off the edge soon i need to get my life together but idk how the fuck i can do that when the only thing flowing through my head are such intense thoughts to harm myself and harm others my brain thinks of the most scariest shit ever and it makes me wanna do things i don't actually wanna do and i feel so out of place with everything i know im a fuck up and its like just let me go already why cant i just leave already why cant i be at peace i don't wanna be here i didn’t  fucking ask to be here i didn’t ask for any of this to happen but if i take back whats mine it’ll harm everyone else around me which is no fucking fair because i should be able to leave whenever i wanna fucking leave it shouldn’t be up to the rest of the world whether or not i live its my fucking choice and i hate that absolutely everything is taken away from me i cant even make my own decisions without hurting the ones around me i just want to be ok