Today, I picked up a Vuse - Made by Me

In our modern day, Vuse’s and Vapes have become the newest rage, made to help people quit smoking, but simply turning more people into consumers.

Today, I picked one up.

I don’t know why it stuck with me. It’s not the first one I’ve used (and most definitely won’t be the last) but I just can’t seem to get that slick, silver, cancer-making machine out of my head.

The fact that I used it doesn’t haunt me. I don’t feel any guilt or remorse for it, and perhaps that’s why I keep thinking about it. I feel like I should feel guilty, or at least a bit weird, but I don’t. 

I think that’s why I used it in the first place, so I wouldn’t feel anything.

I mean, I’ve heard from so many people how the head spin feels amazing, and that the rush they get is so worth it, but that didn’t draw me to them. It was the taste that did. Or at least at first.

The flavours that everyone described, “blue-raspberry,” “iced watermelon,” they all made my mouth water. So when I was offered a hit, I didn’t hesitate. It tasted just as good as I thought it would, but that wasn’t the best part. That came when the head spin wore off.

I felt nothing. Just, empty. Empty like I’ve never felt before, but accepting of it. I didn’t hate myself for once, I didn't feel out of place. The way I acted after that head spin wasn’t exactly the real me, but the me I wanted to be. Empty and free and not giving two-shits about anything other than what was going on in the moment.

After that, I started using it for that feeling. Not often (I was too much of a good-two-shoes for that), but whenever I was offered the chance. That feeling may not have lasted long, but it was what I craved.

I’m not addicted, I can stop at any moment, and I know a lot of addicts say that but this time it’s true. I don’t feel a pull towards it until I’m given the opportunity to have it. And even then I don’t take that opportunity often. In fact, I’ve been offered the chance multiple times and still said no, and that’s what’s different with this time.

Because today? I picked up a Vuse.