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Category: Life

weiners: a bulletin-turned-blog-post

(I posted this as a bulletin on April 1 and decided maybe it belonged in a more permanent space.)

Here's a question for you on this Friday morning: Why are dudes obsessed with sending pictures of their cocks to others? Don't get me wrong, I love mine. But I understand that no one *really* wants to see it - especially unsolicited.

I do wonder though: If so many guys use this as a tactic, does that mean it has worked for some of them? That has to be it, right? Like, their friends must have regaled them with hookup tales that began with "so I sent this random girl a dick pic and..." right? I can see no other reason for this practice to continue. 

I have a friend who posts a lot of selfies. She is a beautiful woman and whenever I see her pictures I get a bit terrified that random dudes are dropping their dicks into her messages. It must be so shitty to have to deal with that - or even just the prospect of it. (No, that's not why I don't share selfies. I just hate my face.)

If I can end on a positive here, it's this. I'm a huge fan of seeing guys lose their jobs over this. A woman I follow on the socials had this happen to her and immediately found the dude's employer and let them know. He was fired and lambasted her for "ruining his life" (I think his girl broke up with him as well). Buddy, you kinda committed a crime. It's not her fault your action had consequences. She shared the email from the guy's job that said he was let go and I felt so good about it. Is it wrong to find joy in someone else's misfortune? Generally, yes. But I have no time for sex offenders who cry foul when their shit comes back on them.

So a piece of advice for any dudes reading this: don't send a nude picture of yourself to anyone unless they explicitly ask you for it. Don't assume because you're "talking" that they want to see what you've got. If anyone wants to know, they will tell you. Don't be a creep.

Wait, while I'm here I just had a new thought that's a bit related to this. Do guys get weirded out if girls send them topless pictures? Years ago a random girl sent me a not-exactly-safe-for-work picture of herself. We chatted on a forum about music and she just hit my inbox with a "like what you see?" or something. I didn't pursue it, and I wasn't completely creeped out (maybe because I was a teenager and thought she was cute?), but it did feel quite odd that she sent it. It wasn't like any of our conversations were going in that direction. We went from talking about guitar scales to her in her underwear very quickly.

Anyway, that memory just came back to me and now I wonder if there are guys who have received unsolicited pictures from women that have made them as uncomfortable as someone getting a dick pic. That was a long sentence, so I'll leave you with this: don't send someone a picture of yourself unless they ask you for it. Everyone will feel much safer that way. Sound good? Wonderful.

And that's what I have for you today: random thoughts on random nudity. Enjoy that tumbling around in your brain for a bit. Thanks for being here - and you're welcome!

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