Woah hey, kinda lost track of this site...

So about six months ago my computer fucking died and I lost all my bookmarks  -- since I have possibly the world's worst fuckin memory, I entirely forgot what this website was called until my datemate sent me their profile so here I am again 😋

I've been doing a whole ton of work slowly moving away from mainstream social media -- going back to working on my blog on blogger, coding myself a personal site on neocities.org (I super recommend them!) and creating a forum for myself.

I realized awhile ago that a lot of mainstream social media stresses me the fuck out and that like, trying to make myself accessible to all 8 billion people on earth is just not something I'm interested in doing anymore -- if people want to access me, they're going to have to deal with looking at my horrendous old-school web design and meeting me on my terms.

Uh that aside -- personal life updates? After further experimenting with gender, I've landed on nonbinary guy instead of bigender. I just slowly started feeling less and less comfortable with thinking of myself as a girl in any way  -- other than like, the way that gay guys are straight girls' "girlfriend". I've been on T for six months now and I'm feeling really, really great about it. Even though I'm technically on a microdose, there've been a lot of changes and all of them have just made me feel fucking fantastic about myself.

On top of all that: I've been wanting to get a breast reduction for years because like, I just had a really huge chest size (40K) and on August 11th I went to my new doctor for the first time to ask about getting one and get a referral for one. Well: I got the letter about my consultation being scheduled for December 3rd of this year! ONE DAY BEFORE MY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY. I cannot think of a better birthday present than finally getting this thing off the ground and scheduling a day to get this literal 22lbs of weight off my chest! It's fantastic! I don't think I've like, ever been this happy about anything since I got my HRT appointment.

 

I'm also planning to visit my datemate this October and I'm super fucking excited about that since we've known each other since high school and this is the first time we'll get to see each other in person ever and the hope of getting to actually meet them someday is one of the things that has kept me going for the last thirteen years! On top of that, it's going to be my first time on a plane in my entire life which is a little stressy but also super super exciting??? 

This year has been kind of a rollercoaster ride for me in a lot of ways -- coming out as trans in February, starting HRT, starting a local LGBTQ+ group, becoming the admin of a very large witchcraft facebook group for my state, hosting a pride picnic in June, getting an actual bank account for myself and hopefully learning to drive and get back to making music again soon... For a long time, I've been pretty much entirely reliant on my boyfriend, between getting kicked out at 20 after a fight w/my mom and then developing some pretty severe physical disabilities at 22, I haven't really been able to make much of a life for myself as an individual...

Which like, happens. Sometimes life takes a bit to get started but ever since realizing who I am and what I want to be, I've had this motivation to finally get around to all the stuff I've been putting off for most of my life and it feels really great. Plus, I started a new medication for my chronic pain and it seems to be making a pretty big effect and I'm in a lot less pain than I have been in a pretty long time.

All in all, things have been going pretty well and I'm looking forward to posting again and participating in the community ^^