christmas in a decade

ambrosian feast which lines 

the wooden table

elysian smiles glued onto the chairs

a love surrounds our family, so simple

we tiptoe around father

frolicking in his warm embrace

his nebulous soul

defrosts my frozen face

candy canes, red and white

they line every street, every corner

seraphic to my eyes

but christmas ten years later

a slipshod meal

food left to freeze to ice

while plates left empty between intervals

we sit at the table

father lurching from one place to another

his words beshrew my heart

and a blaze of caterwauls, i can never recover

this year, no candy canes

but the crimson blood which stains blank white walls

reminding me of a once blithely father

reduced to nothing but crippling alcohol

he used to sing me to sleep,

but is now a chimera of evil

does he even love me? i’ll never know

but ill sink into a canarous sleep

as i dream of merry christmas from the devil