Shit happened

I got my phone confiscated(I'm on my computer atm). I deserve it, my poor choices led to this, but I'm still annoyed.

To say the least, family drama happened, and I was involved. It includes(but maybe isn't limited to) weed, vaping, teenage delinquency, ect ect...

I honestly don't want to repeat the shit I did. It could have, and already has, fucked up stuff in my life. Why I keep making these kinds of decisions when I KNOW for a fact that it just leads to trouble, I don't now. I just want it to go away, I want to make it better. I hate having all this tension and getting disappointed looks thrown at me. I know what I did was wrong, and I want to prove that I can be trustworthy. 

Rebuilding trust is a lot fucking harder than it sounds though.

Karma, the domino affect, call it what you want but that shit really comes back around to kick you in the balls.

I was previously invited to go to a homecoming dance by a friend(potential QPR partner??) and I was so excited. I planned on bringing them flowers, and we were gonna have matching outfits.. I was constantly thinking about it but after my phone got taken, I've been AFK for pretty much everything(and I've been so extremely lonely that it's not even funny anymore).

But because I forcibly went AFK, they thought I was ghosting them cause I couldn't message back. Last night, my mom remembered that I was supposed to go and told me to talk to them about it so I did. Long story short, they asked someone else. I get it, thinking you're date is ghosting you and freaking out so you ask someone else, but I can still feel hurt, right?

I can't say I would have done the same thing, cause I wouldn't have, but I gotta respect their decision.

On a better note, I FINALLY started driving lessons and got my permit. Although, I have to miss like 1-2 month's worth of DnD sessions. I worry that my party is going to finish the campaign I left off of. BUT! I can't just expect them not to play and make a whole new one while I'm gone, so I just gotta deal with it. At least I can drive now.

(I'm surprised, but grateful, that my mom is letting me drive at all though)

Imma leave a song that's been stuck on repeat in my head then log off, till next time 🤟