ida🦌✨💜's profile picture

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Category: SpaceHey

spacehey has a really big exclusionist problem

there, i said it

i don't feel like being active on a site where half the userbase is gonna violently harass me because they're too lazy to learn some actual queer history and unpack the TERF bullshit they've been taught

i honestly hardly add anyone who friends me because most people who add me are these dumbass kids who give me the sorta vibes that they're an edgy 14 year old who thinks being a mean lesbian is cool and bullying mspec gays is a healthy and productive thing to do that will create queer unity in some way

just about everyone who's joined pUwUlsewave from the links we've shared on spacehey has been nothing but trouble for the server as it turns out they didn't bother reading the fucking "we're inclusive of all good faith identities" rule and then it turns out they think i shouldn't exist for like 10 different reasons and then they leave

i really don't feel like being active here because interacting with other users is literally *always* a gamble on whether they'll be chill with me or whether they'll cuss me out because they think their way of life is better than mine

it's extremely sad to me that these terminally online kids who have never attended a pride march or a queer hangout in their whole life have all flocked to spacehey because "ooh UwU edgy emo scene nostalgia cool" and they're bringing all their prescriptivist and destructive bullshit with them

i don't wanna hang out with people who preach this historical denialism like it's the only character trait they were given in life, but trying to avoid them here is like walking in a goddamn minefield.

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king cube

king cube's profile picture

feel bad for you

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spamtonium's profile picture

Ik this is a bit old, but you are soooooo right and I keep running into the same problem. It sucks so much.

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Dinic 💫

Dinic 💫's profile picture

it feels a lot like as Spacehey grows in popularity the bad parts of the modern net come with it. I try not to let it get to me but it's so tiring that there isn't anywhere online I can really escape it

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Hatch's profile picture

Yeahh already seen "Anti Lesbiphobes" (you know theyre asses when they misspell lesbophobia on purpose. not joking) and two seperate groups of recolored transmeds but for Other Groups, So Its Ok This Time.
Please don't leave. I know its hell but if we stand our ground we'll get our own group. We cant leave everywhere the bigoted freaks are, or theyll have everything

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Nam Lemonade

Nam Lemonade's profile picture

I haven't been active on spacehey for nearly enough time, but it definetively doesn't surprise me. Feels to me like online queer spaces have been having this problem since Tumblr. Lots of friends I have, including myself, have fallen for these exclu rhetorics. And learning where they all come from, and unlearning a lot of it is definetively a process

These days, i've been trying to cultivate spaces based on "if their identity is in good faith, live and let live". Individual experiences can hardly be all categorized under a single, restrictive label. People have different experiences in life, have different influences, different everything. Queer labels, to me, should be freeing, and allow you to have a word to explain your experiences the way you see it. It shouldn't restrict you into a different box than the cishet normative one society imposed on us

At least, that's how I've come to see it. Maybe i'm wrong on some aspects, and i'm always open to discussion abt this stuff

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4CID_D0LLZ's profile picture

had no idea this was going on! its such a shame though, it puts a bad view of the LGBTQ+ into the spotlight :(

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seraphxo's profile picture

woah i had no idea this was going on. i don't think i've really had any trouble with people like that yet

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scenemo.mess666's profile picture

this may be true i havnt been on this website for long but, your really shitting on young queer people, and as a young queer person i do go to pride and i try to learn about our history as much as i can but shitting on queer youth wont bring our community closer either, although i do agree i feel like people know forget that we are a community a gaint family i dont see that comradery we used to have. i dont see people want to learn about queer history the most people know is that marsha p jhonson/ silvia revera throwed the first brick at stone wall ( which isnt even true ). its not queer peoples fault its systemic queer bigotries fault.

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ill probably get chocked up to one of those kids due to the fact im scene and emo. basically its a little unfare to treat queer youth like this although i agree with your points

by scenemo.mess666; ; Report

also im sorry so many people are like that sad to here there are so many on space hey

by scenemo.mess666; ; Report


Marcel's profile picture

Hey, I'm actually really new to spacehey. And I'm a queer teen. I love learning about Queer and LGBTQ+ history and have spent a lot of time putting in research on it, in and out of school. I know that is kinda off topic but if you have any topics of queer history that I might wanna look into I'd be grateful if you'd let me know.

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$H1♱ H3△D

$H1♱ H3△D 's profile picture

im super new here and i’m still trying to figure out how to navigate spacehey n stuff but you seem to be making some seriously valid points. it really sucks that this is the kind of demographic it’s attracting because from what i’ve seen spacehey has some pretty good potential! anyways i’ve made sure to mention on my profile that i’m anti terf and a leftist and i try to seem like one of the “good ones”. i just hope that maybe as the user base for the site begins to grow so will the amount of good people.

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detrimentalist's profile picture

greetings ida! i do agree with your blog post. i have noticed this issue on spacehey, but this issue is becoming more prevalent on spaces like tik tok and twitter, especially in queer spaces. i've recently been noticing that a lot of discourse that goes on in the online community rarely happens in person..... so...... what's the point? what's the point of invalidating other people's identities behind a screen and telling people that they shouldn't exist. things like this make me not want to participate in the queer community at all on the internet, which is costing me potential people to talk to, but i don't care. i don't want to talk to the same terminally online people that you mentioned, because i hate them as much as you described. the internet is weird man, i just wish these people would just go outside and talk to queer people their age at school or something.

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yo thanks for the comment! honestly yeah these issues exist everywhere. but i feel like the thing with twitter or any other social media is that they're a lot more established already so their userbases are generally very big and have a lot of varied people in it. yeah you can find a lot of exclusionists on twitter, but you'll probably find much more older queer people (and generally other users who are outside of this whole discourse) who don't think like that at all.

i can't really describe why all too well, but i do feel as if spacehey just attracts a lot of young queer users and thus the userbase is generally made up of a lot more exclus than on twitter. like, on twitter they could be like 0.02% of all the users on twitter, since it's such a gigantic platform. but spacehey only has like 100k users, and with the kinda users it attracts i assume that percentage could be a lot higher. i feel like i have to be a lot more wary with who i interact on here than on twitter or discord :/

by ida🦌✨💜; ; Report

thanks for the reply! i understand. now i that think about it, every time i scroll through profiles on here i see at least 5 profiles made by these weird young gatekeepers, and i instantly click off of it. that's more than when i still used twitter, haha. i guess that's just the type of people spacehey attracts, unfortunately.

by detrimentalist; ; Report