miku's birthday (and mine too ig)

So, I'm not one for emotional or sappy posts. That said, buckle up motherfuckers.

 

 

I don't remember when I started listening to Hatsune Miku songs; all I can recall are little snippets from middle school, when I had first discovered Vocaloid. I remember doing a little dance for friends, showing it to Issac in computer class, listening to Miku while I was waiting for the bus after a depressing day. 

I was, to be honest, a dumb and aloof kid, and while I don't have a super sad tragic middle school backstory or anything, looking back I think that was mostly because I legitimately did not realize people were trying to make fun of me, and I just kinda did my own thing. But still, even without being bullied, I was attending a surprisingly rigorous middle school, and things got overbearing very quick.

Thanks to the sheer amount of producers who create Vocaloid songs, it wasn't long before I'd start finding songs describing exactly how I felt. Being overworked, feeling out of place, being suicidal, every little song I picked up gave me the words to describe and work out what I was feeling. And I thought if someone else could put it to words, if they could sort it out and come out better, even with these wounds still tender, maybe I could be okay as well.

Every song puts something special in how they depict Miku, every producer puts a bit of themselves or what they're feeling into Miku. So despite a robotic voice, it sounded more personal than ever. Hatsune Miku can be a voice for people too afraid to speak.

I see interests and hobbies often referred to as a "safe haven" or hideout of sorts, where people can go to be their true selves, to be uninhibited with their passion. And while that was true for me and Miku, thanks to a lack of filter in little 14 year old me, that "safe haven" seeped out into the real world.

I got games, I went to conventions as Miku, I drew art and made terrible terrible fanfiction and for the first time, there were things to look forward to. There were things that made me happy.

A few years ago, I started listening to Vocaloid again. And seeing the community grow so much is absolutely wonderful.

Hatsune Miku's birthday is today, August 31. And coincidentally, August 31 is my birthday too. I remember first learning that fact, huddled around a computer in the robotics classroom in 7th grade. The fact I share a birthday with something, or I guess you could say someone who's made such an impact in my life... it's surreal.

So with the future in mind, even if I stop listening to Miku, I know I'll be okay. I've learned to use my own words, but I know if I ever have to rely on support from anyone, or solidarity, or compassion, Miku will be there to sing the words to me. 

(This is cheesy, but hey, I don't really care.)

Happy Birthday, Miku. Here's to more years of your voice. <3

-kaikoikey