i wanna fix the issue but i don’t know how

i’ve been a really bad partner recently and i don’t fucking know why. in the past week I’ve hurt my partner’s feelings like 5 times and jesus fuck if i haven’t bashed my head against the wall trying to figure out why. it’s not like i can blame it on anything. i don’t even want to blame it on anything i just fucked up. i keep talking without thinking first and just cocking it up. i really really FUCKING REALLY  want to make it up to them and gain back their trust but damn dude i’m afraid. i don’t want to make it worse and i feel like i don’t deserve the chance to fix the issue. i’m just afraid and i don’t know what to do. i don’t necessarily want advice i’m just throwing this into the void to see what happens. i really hope i can fix things. i hate hurting people. especially my partner. they mean the world to me but i haven’t really been acting that way i guess. oh man today is gonna be something.