MY AWESOME DATING TIPS - Spencer Shay

Freddie asked me for some dating advice this week. I gave him my BEST sure-fire tips on how to make a date great. PS: I don't have a girlfriend because I CHOOSE not to have one. Seriously! My AWESOME DATING TIPS: If you have hairy knuckles, SHAVE them. Girls HATE hairy knuckles. If you have an open sore, put a bandage on it. Girls HATE open sores. Always bring your date a small gift, such as socks, cheese, or a sack of fresh nuts (Girls LOVE almonds). If you are in a restaurant eating dinner and your date goes to the restroom, DO NOT pick up her plate, go into the restroom with it, and say, "I thought you might want to eat this while you're in here." Some girls might find this weird. If your date asks you if she looks fat, DO NOT say, "Why, yes, your butt looks so big, I thought it might explode." If your girl spills something on her shirt, sponge her off immediately. DO NOT say, "Way to go, SLOBBO!" Tell your date she is very pretty, no matter how ugly she is. If you are going to kiss your girl's sister, at least wait until your girl is looking the other way. Try not to sneeze on your date, if you do, give her a wet rag to wipe it off.