Shit stings

The situation is JUST sinking in, and i feel. So fucking empty??? Bored??? dull? Sad? Whatever the fuck. This is worse than what happened in September. Sure they haven’t like BLOCKED me on everything under the sun like the last time, but it’s arguably worse. Imagine having to open discord every fucking day and you see your ex (WHO YOU ARE STILL VERY IN LOVE WITH) And. You have to like— deal with the fact that the two of you aren’t. An item anymore. Theyre like… well, i dont want to sound straight up possessive, but thats what i am. Xes able to be someone elses— and i just. If they start dating someone else im straight up just gonna block them. I can’t fucking handle that. 

I dont care if posting publicly is petty, i am feeling a LOT of different emotions right now and i think I deserve to be a little fucking petty after all that. Im not obligated to talk to him all the time, im not obligated to call him all the time, i dont have to give all of my attention to him. Im able to talk to my friend group again!!! shout out to the pikorb server for sticking with me since 7th grade. I love them so much. 

…Its not like im gonna deny the fact that without him things feel. Boring. Empty. I know the feeling will go away with time, that ill feel better. Its not like im alone!! its just kinda hard not to feel lonely. I really do miss him already. We hadn’t talked much in the past few days either. Maybe that was a sign. Or something, i dont actually know lol.

Anyways im gonna figure out how to play osu! For like 2 hours straight its gonna be great lol.