school dance blog

just gonna do a bit of a blog post about it since this is the most major thing that i did for awhile. also blogging fun :)

also for friends alot are gender non conforming and are trying out names, so some people may have many names and i will say all of them when they are first introduced to save confusion.

so today my mom decided to buy me an outfit for the spring dance at my school since i helped take care of my uncle while he was on hospice. i dont get nice things very often, most of my belongings are either thrift-ed, hand-me-downs, 'borrowed' from stores, or fairly cheap so this was a welcome surprise.

the place we were going to go to shut down :( it was my favorite in-person store too :((

so we walked around a bit and went in this one gentrified boutique bc it smelled good. like with the birch wood and off-pink selling mostly crop tops. if you live near a city you know what i mean. i found this dumb looking top that felt weird and decided to try it on as a joke. i like to try on stuff even if i don't plan on buying it just to expand the horizons and play with style without having to commit. 

the top is navy blue and made of a kind of sheen material. had a low neckline with a 'boob sack' and a tie-up corset type back. the most noticeable thing was the puffed solders. i tried it on, and it actually fit really well and didn't make me dysphoric. i was gonna wear it with some teal corduroys and call it a day. she bought it, and we decided to walk around some more.

a couple shops later, we found this 2000s themed shop. it was almost every bad trend you can think of. over-bling-ed roxy jackets, barbie pinks, black faux furs, wigs in the signature karen cut and a couple teal stripes. just amazing. i was fine with what i had, but my mom asked if they had any dressy/fancy pants. almost everything was bad. until there was one that she brought out. the exact color & material, flowy the same as the last one. tried it on with the top, even the people working were surprised that it came separately and were made by different brands. of course got it, and one of my first fancy outfits that actually fit me was complete!

i had some maroon/red pumps to wear with it that i had thrift-ed from the place that had shut down before that went surprisingly well.

by the time we got home it was 3pm, dance at 6. afterwards we went to a cafe and i was bloated pretty bad. and this is a crop top and i am already super sensitive about my stomach. drank a giant bottle of lemon water & did a massage on myself and was able to get rid of it within an hour. we were supposed to dogsit for one of the dogs i used to foster today and my parents and the owners talked for so long that i had less than an hour for everything else. i oil pulled while showering keeping the water off my face mask and shaving simultaneously. it did work, i dried my hair and put it in small braids in the front. was gonna do space buns but i thought that it looked good as is. put on the outfit and it was great, i felt really confident. especially with all the stuff i did before i felt like a model.

also i dont like to pose normally. i suck at it and if i look good then i should still look good when ferral and trying to look unflattering.

i also didn't wear a bra cause i wasn't a pussy. a nip slip happens it happens so what. also i only have shapewear and sports bras so there wasn't another option.

all of my friend group came exept one person! including some who do the online school that i haven't seen in months! they were waiting by the front cause i was a couple minutes late and everyone looked really cool. one of my friends dressed like a flapper and another looked like a 'mischievous little guy' for lack of a better term.

when we first got there we hung out at this one table near the badminton and caught up. some people made charms that said PTG (palm tree gang, because we all sit under the palm tree at lunch).

my friend bryn/ky (he/they) had a bunch of sugar before coming and kept trying to steal oliver's  (he/him) hat and running around like mad. they were a constant bomb of energy through the whole dance. i chased them around for a bit just for the sake of chasing someone. ky is like another person who understands the chaotic urges, and a part of our friendship is just doing weird and impulsive shit together without judgement. its very healing.

savanah (she/her) was quite confused as to what was happening in either of the smaller groups and we did awkward dance together and talked about nothing. we got some italian soda together.

eck/whatever/roxy (they/them) hadnt been at school forever so it was nice to talk to them. i forgot about a message they sent a couple weeks ago because i spent an hour looking for a good response and then forgot about why and went to sleep. im very glad that we got that cleared up, they thought i was ghosting them. we also talked about our outfits and i helped them put on their shoes. we also tried to start a cult but it got disbanded within 5 minutes because the energy was so much at the dance that nobody was paying attention or suggesting how to create the cult.

next we went to take a group photo. i didnt know a couple people in the group but we had a lot of people and it was tough for us all to get in the photo booth. as one of the tallest, i was way in the back. it felt a bit forced / rushed but i appreciate having a picture of everyone together. right before ky gave me a handful of ice he had taken from the coolers as a gift. one of my teachers noticed my delema and showed me where the nearest trash can was thankfully.

my phone is broken pretty badly so i cant take a picture, but here is another group photo we did later.

i also got some gelato after this, mint oreo flavor. very good.

after a bit we moved over to karaoke. a couple people in our group (bryn, lainey (she/her), marie (she/her)) are super into disney and most people singing were picking disney songs. i haven't watched many and don't remember the words but had fun singing along with the people who went up and performed. it was basically a mic in front of a whiteboard with a projector showing karaoke youtube videos. you could go up and put the song you wanted to and when it was your turn the teacher would type it up.

i decided to perform smooth by santana. the teacher gave me a 'nice' when i wrote it down. i suck at singing due to my lisp and also have a monotone voice (thanks autism) so i knew it would be bad but just wanted to do something that i wouldn't have been able to do when i was at my worst if that makes sense. i also love the feeling of singing, its one of my favorite activities, even if im no good. my turn came up and as expected i bombed pretty bad. im also a quiet talker and the mic did not pick up most anything except for if my voice would crack for added affect. i felt about the same as before and my friends said i did good.

ky came up after and did pretty good, singing a song by the living tombstone. during their song though i saw a goth person who looked really cool and i liked the way they did their hair (think the bangs to the eyes bowl cut hair that we hate but they had curly hair and made like a window/curtain to see their eyes that blended really well because of the curly hair) and we talked a bit. they were really hot and actually flirted with me ?? like i am in an exclusive relationship but it was really flattering and the conversation we bounced off of each other really well. it was flattering and gave me good energy.

later in the night bryn, lainey, marie, and oliver did the oogey boogey's song from the nightmare before christmas as a group and it was really fun. lots of audience participation.

a couple times in between maybe a few of us would go out to dance when a well-known song showed up. some of my favorite instances include screaming bloody murder (as in very loud and as if we were fatally wounded) during sweet caroline (when you would say ba ba ba!), doing the macarena, and at the last song all of us joining in the conga line and purposefully seeking up/slowing down to mess with each other. i love to dance too. bryn and i tried to get the dj to play chop suey by system of a down but it was a failed effort. on the last song i tried to find the goth person from earlier but couldnt. i wanted to at least roleplay a romantic relationship with them for funsies. like do the final dance and then never meet again.

at the end i felt bad for emily (she/they) who was part of the club that put together the dance and had to stay back to clean up. my cousin prepared for one of the dances and literally collapsed at the end. i feel so bad for the kids that do those. said goodbye to friends and headed out.

overall really fun, everything worked out well. the last school dance i went to i showed up stoned as fuck and the only friend who also went had to babysit me the whole time so this was a massive improvement. also happy to have formalwear! its alot of fun, id like to wear it for events that dont call for it now lol. i like the way i look in it somehow even with my body dysphoria + gender dysphoria. we were talking in the group chat about doing an event of some kind soon so i am exited for that too ^^