bipoler

i have been feeling very down lately i usslaly dont have depressive episodes or just dont notice them but lately i have been really sad i dont know what it is or what to do i am just worried becouse i have started to do stuff that is hurtin the peale around me like i have this one freind that i really like but i keep fucking things up . and even my closest freind i am stating to dispise i need mood sablyser but as soon as i got my new bottle i lost it i dont know how to feel i am sad but i feel numb on the outside like i want to cry but i dont feel an of the emotions cousing me to want tocry idk i geuss i should probs go to bed thx for reading ig.