my thoughts on dying/anxiety about death

BIG HEADS UP and TRIGGER WARNING!!! i will be talking about death, depression and suicidal thoughts, though nothing too detailed or graphic. 

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before that time i was extremely suicidal and I've already survived an attempt. not my proudest time and i will never do it again. shit's scary :(. i didn't have a near death experience but since then I've been informing myself a lot on that kind of stuff. it has really helped my anxieties about death because the scariest part for me is the loss of consciousness forever. all the memories from a whole life getting erased and the nothingness you don't even know you're in. 

many people have reported about an afterlife. not everyone's is the same but it does give me hope. 

the biggest "but" though!! I'm so young! i shouldn't be worrying about those things at all!! if I do end up living a long life i will have PLENTY of time to prepare for it and from what I've heard you'll feel a sense of peace while dying. that's all i want. i want no regrets and no panic, just calm. 

my last big fear is climate change and capitalism though. the world is going to SHIT in every way. i try really hard to ignore that sense of impending doom (oh well), otherwise i would just always be shaking and crying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's a problem for another day though. 

what's your biggest fear? write it in the comments :3