8/10/21 Breaking Points

First off, think... What is the meaning of "emo." Does it always have to be drab depressing songs about suicide? No. It really doesn't. Honestly, some of the early punk bands were closer to "emo" than you think. Most obvious example is the Descendants. Always highly regarded in punk circles. However, upon review of their lyrics, they're singing about girls and break ups. 

I will say this. I always considered Perfect Sense some sort of "emo." 

Lets talk about the first single that we released as a band in 2017, "Break the Sky." This was never intended to be the debut single off of the album. After writing it we realized that it would be a great way to start things off. It was a song that I had written in my bedroom in the summer of 2015. I will honesty say, this is totally a classic mid-2000s emo song, but just set to the tone of a skate punk beat.

There is some depth on where the song came from. That summer I was involved with this girl, it was by far one of the strangest relationships I have ever had. I met this person at an acoustic show in Mesa, and drunkenly I told them they were someone they needed to know because of how involved I was in the music world out here. We added each other on social media, and what not and that was the end of it that night. A few nights later she comes out to an acoustic gig I was playing in Glendale. I started finding more out about this girl and became very interested. 

We both were singers, both heavily into the music that we were doing. It seemed like a cool deal. There were things that started to raise red flags to me. There was a point in time we were in good communication, but when I would ask her about hanging out, I would get ignored. It seemed like it was very one sided, but I just pressed on because I really liked her. I offered my service to play music with her for a show she was doing in July. We were both going on vacation back to back weeks so we had a few hangs/rehearsals then we'd get together on the 31st.

This is where things get a little odd.

I remember seeing her texting a friend about some "guy" that was going to be there. I realize at that moment, I was being used. I was being used for the connections I had, and that was it. After seeing that I was going to be playing second fiddle to the whole night, I went outside to my truck, and just played guitar until it was our set time. I knew who was organizing the show, and knew how these shows end. It was a very lack luster type gig. We play the few songs, and there was a mega tech difficulty at one point. It was a mess.

After the show, we hung out in the parking lot for a few. I more less told her that I was kind of upset with how things had been going. She calmed me on some of the situation, but I knew something still wasn't right. She had just bought a car, and offered to take me on a short drive to see how "fast" it was with the top down. We went around the block, got on the freeway for an exit, and then came back. It was kind of cool, I'm not going to lie. 

When a show ends, there is always such a rush of adrenaline. This night was no different. It was just us two in the parking lot, and that was it. There was some conversations about nothing, and some laughs. However, all good things had to come to an end. I was still feeling uneasy about the whole thing that had happened earlier in the night. I did find out that it was partly my fault, and it was somewhat of an overreaction. That didn't make me feel much better, but it at least answered some of my insecurity of the situation. Later on, I did find out that she did sleep around when on vacation the week prior, so my suspicion wasn't totally wrong. 

I got out of her car, and put my guitar in my truck. I asked her when I would see her again, she just said "we'll see." I watched her car drive out of the venue parking lot realizing that was probably the last time that I was going to see her. I was a little crushed. I could feel my insides being ripped out. I had overly cared form someone who I thought was about to be different than what I had dealt with in the past. History repeated, and I was deflated. 

The next day I was playing a show in Las Vegas, which was a crazy night, but it felt odd, and vacant. Fun, but just odd. Just had my heart ripped out and was trying to move on. (No, I didn't take my friends offer to buy a hooker.) After our Vegas trip it was time to let the let down begin, things were over for a bit.

At this point, I picked up my guitar and started messing around with some simple chords and came up with the intro. Then the intro lead into something else, and it grew. It grew very quickly. There was something drastic missing from what I had written. Lyrics.....

Any song writer will know, the scorned heart is the best to write about. I took with that idea. For whatever reason, I kept hearing this angsty lyric in my head, "I think I found a new way to break the sky." I was frustrated, I was upset. I wanted to write something that showed the confusion of being lost, and missing a pieces. It was something that you believed that would heal, but it only left a deeper scar. So I kept going. The lyrics came together within a day. 

In mid-August, I brought it to practice. It came together quickly as well. Next thing I know, it was complete. The full song had come to life. The oddest summer of my life had a theme song. The more emotionally draining day will hold a place forever.

This brings me to my point. 

What is "emo?"

What is "punk?"

There is such a grey area. I guess it all comes down to perspective, and what you want to believe. "Break the Sky" is somewhere between both. That's the way I like it. Make everyone wonder.