Journal

I dont feel real right now. Everything feels like a blur. This is just gonna be a blur in my memory. I feel lost and confused. Sometimes I feel like I should give up on everything. The date is already set April 13th.  If things dont improve by then. then i guess im done. The question is what do i mean by improve. I want everything to improve, I want to feel happy, I want to be mentally okay, i want to feel loved, i want to feel seen, i want to be comforted. I just look for being secure.