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My body
How do I look today?
Am I looking pretty, as always?
Is this the right angle for people to look at me?
Maybe I just need to remember the angle that I used yesterday.
Is my sight too dear?
Is it too rough?
Is it enough for people to look at me and feel the softness of my being?
Or are my eyes not the window to my soul today?
What can I do to make them stare?
How can I achieve my goal of being what they most adore?
Am I everything that they want or wished during their lonely nights?
Or am I still too plain for them all?
Then I figured, if they don't get me, then I will!
I will get them!,
I'd figure how they think,
Figure what they really want.
Then, my hair free with the air
My hands behind my back
My lips soft and glossy to show I shine
My hips swaying to show I'm alive.
You could even see me practicing my smile at late night.
Before leaving,
Looking into the mirror to see myself,
Finally learning how to stand to appear small,
How to blink at the perfect time.
How to make my words rhyme,
How to make my eyes look wide
How to make my expression look warm
And how to hide the anxiety at the back of my mind.
Everything calm, everything sweet
They won't know about it, they don't care about me.
They're trapped in the illusion I created for them
The lovely girl who walks by dropping a stare.
Adore me, look at me
I am made for you to look,
I am made for you to touch
I am not for myself,
Nor is my voice.
My body is not mine, it never was
You can have your fun, you can go, take your time.
You can admire what I made for you,
Leave me if you want.
At the moment you leave, I will continue with another one,
The steps would repeat themselves with rhye
And just like a fenix I'd come back from the ashes of their cries
Still...
There's that moment that changes it all,
One day I woke up, and looked in the mirror,
My body wasn't the possession of no one that day,
nobody wanted it, nobody needed it.
And as nobody needed it, neither did I
It stared to ache
It stared to whine
"Why can't I be pretty?"
"Why can't I be mine?"
And it wouldn't shut up,
So I had to reply:
"Don't cry my dear,
You don't need to be mine,
We were taught to share,
Whenever we were asked
Still, if you want,
We can make it stop,
If only you'd change,
Our fight would go"
And as my mouth closed,
So did my thoughts,
My body understood,
That everything was done,
Maybe the feeling someday would stop,
Until then,
I'd be searching who to belong
-Dearly for myself,
Lu
Comments
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Yanini
I love your writing! it really conveys the struggle of body image and I think you expressed it very well for others to relate :[