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I'm a runaway with no family

I came from an abusive household and I eventually just lost all love or connection to my biological family. So running away from home wasn't too hard asides from the escaping and planning part. The only pain is that now that I finally am free in life from their shackles, I don't actually have a family.Β 


This isn't too big of an issue because I asked for this, of course. I signed up for this, I wished, worked for and manifested it. I wanted nothing to do with my family and voluntarily canceled them out of my life. (and will continue to do so overtime, changing my mail address and contacts for example) During my time as a runaway I found shelter with a friend and her family, while I was in the kitchen talking with them she asked me about if I plan to seek new family, which I replied with no. She then told me how it could be troublesome in the future for me to have nobody to go to, and explained to me that the concept of family exists for a reason, and it's simply having that group of people to go to 24/7 whenever you need them. She told me about how there's people at her local church who would love to have permanent family, and wouldn't be bothered by taking me under their wing. I told her I'd think about it, but in truth, I was looking to shrug the offer off.

The idea of assigned family annoys me, but the idea of having nobody to call to when I need it sounds unpleasant. The idea of joining the family of people I'm unfamiliar with and have no idea if they'd even like me with time of getting to know me is uncomfortable. The idea of having no idea if they'd ever truly love me, a stranger, unconditionally is uncomfortable. I'd rather stay a lone wolf and avoid the possibility of such an inconvenience. (And to be honest, I can't see myself fitting into a Christian family, as an apostate.)

After giving it more thought, the idea of being a "lonewolf" is still comforting, as it's what I said to myself my whole life. "I'd rather be alone forever than have a family like this"
I asked for this. I'm happy that I finally have it. But now I'm beginning to second guess the new path I've decided to take my life in.Β 

I don't feel like I belong anywhere, so I'd rather just stick with myself. I just hope I don't regret my decision.Β 


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πŸŒˆπŸ¦•πŸ’–~Grace​~πŸ’–πŸ¦•πŸŒˆ

πŸŒˆπŸ¦•πŸ’–~Grace​~πŸ’–πŸ¦•πŸŒˆ's profile picture

I'm sorry abt tht. I'm always here for u!


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thanks

by nik; ; Report

:3c

by nik; ; Report