first blog

lol guys im a senior in highschool and im feeling like such a dumbass like idk this boy i was talking to literally blew me off to go to the dance with this other girl and ive known him for years and it just seems like hes ashamed to be seen with me? idk it seems so stupid but its just the vibe im getting also, i didnt hang out with him at all leading up to the dance but i know he didnt really want to be with me, hes just using me. i always get sick to my stomach when he brings up hanging out so maybe i dont like him or maybe its just nerves i really dont hang out with guys a lot. but idk theres a lot more to the story but seeing him at the dance with another girl really pissed me off. (side note: hes done this before) ik hes not a good person and not even that attractive to me but i seem fixated on him like i cannot move on or maybe i just havent meet the right person to move me on. it doesnt help i dont mediacted my mental state with the appropriate drugs but sometimes i feel like maybe thats the reason he doesn't like me? maybe i am crazy and and a drug addict or something and i just cant see it. idk i wish i could add a picture of what i looked like but oh well lmk if u guys wanna know more bc i got endless stories lol also i cant spell so ignore the mistake ;p