Im Miserable

I feel like my father doesn't even know who I am anymore. Ever since he met his gf everything has gone downhill. Shes basically ruined my life. Every time she comes over my father puts another restriction on me that makes me feel worse. Now my dad disregards my opinions. He told me that I don't get to make opinions because I'm "too young" but he tells me I should be responsible and act like an adult? He keeps telling me I'm not a kid but I AM. He barely feels the same anymore. It feels like he doesn't care anymore and it feels like shes causing it. Every time she comes around he changes even more. He stopped checking on me. He stopped looking at how I feel. How can I feel like this? What kind of father makes their kid feel like they don't care about them. He started telling me I was fat. Every time they buy me clothes they get mad when I say I don't like it. Then when they force me to try on the stuff they buy me they call me fat and make fun of me. How am I supposed to tell him how I feel if he makes me feel like he wont listen? How can my own father do that to me? He makes me feel like he isn't even there anymore. All i ever worried about was how he would desert me over my grades. I told him how I felt before but nothing changed. He doesnt feel the same anymore. The more she's around the more I see my dad is worse than I thought. After telling me I couldn't make my own choices he dragged me around with his girlfriend like we were some happy family. She doesn't respect my space at all. She used to barge in my room, watch me change, take my things without permission and never apologized for constantly guilting me when I couldn't give her what she wanted. Ive never liked her. Even then I used to make excuses for my dad and blame her. And honestly i still feel like doing that. I just want my dad back. I miss when he listened to me. Now he just yells at me and forces me to listen to her. At this point I just want to leave. If i dont talk to them or act the same will they get the hint that something is wrong? If i just stop eating will my dad finally care about me? Will my own dad start caring for me again?I just want him to love me again. It feels like he doesnt even care anymore. i just want my dad back. If i just died would they care anymore? would they feel guilty about why? would they even know? Imiss my dad. I hate that i hate him. Why cant he take care of me aanymore. If I start failing will he finally listen? I tried to tell him I was having a hard time at school and all he did was tell me he had it worse making a living here. I just want hiim to comfort me again. Why doesnt he care about me anymore? Am i not his child? why wont he listen. i just feel miserable/ imterrible. i shiuld be happy hes happy right? am i selfish for wanting my dad back? am i just mad at her because i feel like shes taking his attention from me? why do i feel like he wouldnt listen to me? am ii the one stopping them from being happy? shuld i just leave? im not happu with them. i csnt even rely on my own birth mother. i feel like the only future i have is living with my dad. why doesnt he love me anymore. why dont i love him anymore. i just want to not feel terrible aanymore. but if i say anything wont he  just hate me? why am i even here. 

Sorry I was bawling my eyes out writing this. I don't feel like rewriting this anyways. Im gonna wash my face so they dont think I cried.