i put all my hope on your wings; i can never seem to remember your unreliable track record with me.
you pick out what words you want to hear, whatever makes you feel good, then throw me off the ledge. toward the uneven rocks below, an instant, nauseating death.
but you don’t let my brains expel all over the ground. don’t be mistaken, this is nothing short of a fallacious mercy.
no, you barely grasp me, halfway down, then slowly up, until i give you what’s left. all of me, i say, i give to you, all my love, until we are higher than before. as you’re staring down at me, i see what i would call benevolence. i should’ve looked closer.
“i would give you everything.”
then, that's when you let go.
i gave you everything, my life and countless deaths.
maybe this time things will go differently. i am not as i appear, there is venom running through me. i’m no longer fair game.
your move.
- f. e. celler
08.12.19
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