"Birthday Gift"

I was doing fine.

I was starting to forget you.

I was starting to move on.

Everything was starting to feel better.

But then you popped back up,

And now I can feel the wound in my heart ripping open again.

I can feel the stitches breaking,

I can feel the sinking in my chest,

I can feel everything again.

You bought me something for my birthday.

I said, “you shouldn’t have,”

I wish you hadn’t.

I wish you’d forgotten about me,

Because then the tiny part of me that was irrational,

The tiny part that was tired of being alone,

That tiny part of me wouldn’t be clinging onto hope.

Hope that one day I would be in your arms again,

Hope that one day you would love me again.

Hope that one day you would be happy with me again.

But I know that isn’t true.

I know that I can’t put myself through that.

So, I thank you for the gift,

I say, “you didn’t have to do that,”

And I try again to forget you.