Love💔

Leah can keep a friend no matter how hard she try’s people just don’t understand what goes on inside her head what people see is oh she has attitude she is rude she is loud she is all of these things she never wants to see about her self but what people don’t see is she is hurting on the inside and is acting on how hurt she is feeling and thinks to her self everyday Mabye today will be too mabye to I will change for the better and this friend will last but tis yet another argument another fight between her and said friend and yet another period of hatred and anger between them yet another week of feeling lonely and gloomy bc she never meant to creat the argument or start the fight but when she realized what was going to happen it was to late to apologize and fix what she had broken for yet another day and reason for her to hurt even more know well I fucked up another friendship yet another potential person who could have held her down leah feels that no matter how much medication or dignosis there are in the world nothing will help her understand why she is so messed up and all her friendships get ruined she try’s so hard to see what people tell her but still can’t see a damn thing wants to fall in love with said friend and live together and one day get married but will never happen bc everytime things go good and they have hope leah crushes it by saying or doing the wrong thing by somehow always being the one to fuck it up every time Leah is now pondering on her will to push on or give up on every one and thing in her life including her self she debates everyday weather she should keep it pushing or just end it all and live alone in sorrows with knowing she can’t keep a friend can’t have a lover in her life bc she can’t be the person anyone wants her to be(someone who doesn’t argue isn’t negative and isn’t so loud )she try to understand more and more everyday what am I doing so wrong but can’t come up with anything bc In her eyes everything she does is for said friend she will wake up every day thinking I’m gonna cook for her go to the store and get her favorite things or even try to take her out but it doesn’t matter bc that isn’t good enough now a days people want deep conversation and things to share with said person but Leah haven’t figured out how to do said things leah cannot hold a decent conversation she can’t share or have things in common with anyone bc she thinks I’m gonna be my self and never change for no one which is good in some situations but in other situations it’s terrible bc u need to change sometimes and u need to take people advice