questions to never ask on a work call

there are meetings for which i am relevant and thoughtful, but others, i'm of less use, and i get a bit bored. a part of me begins to rebel; my mind suggesting absolutely horrible ideas in some deep-set juvenile attempt to assert my personal control over the situation. i am ok with this, because some of these ideas can be quite hilarious, entertaining, etc. and thanks to a general refusal to share video, and the mute button, i can now make myself lol during the calls, which are boring, and for which i am useless.

someone will be talking about kubernetes or something for a solid few minutes, then they'll do the thing where they come to some sort of point, pause, and say... "...questions?"

"Yes. Did you see Brian Sewell's cock ring?"

of course, this is just in my head, but i can imagine how things would play out right after, and this makes the meeting much more entertaining.

i think i need to begin cultivating a list of such questions. Like, here's another:

"...questions?"

"Yes. Can you poop on the moon?"

or, during the quarterly earnings call:

"How will the cruising altitude of CFO's testicles impact EBITDA this quarter? Does he turn the heat down in his office to keep them high and firm, or are we looking for more flexibility at the current time? And I have a follow-up question. Thanks"

...then, of course:

"My follow-up question is: Have you seen that gif of a dog pooping on a speedboat deck?"

the meeting where we're arguing about API structure, though, no laughter there, bring your switchblade

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TinoRomanzio

1608779979

man i cant get that computer code shit lol. but you get paid man. but i respect that.

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