Astral Projection. No, not Insidious. Get that shit outta here. Brief dream stuff, too.

I have a recurring dream where I'm trying.. so hard. To go back home to my dad in New York. I live in California and moved out here all by myself, no family or friends, years ago. I keep trying to go home. But as studious control I've learned to have over my dreams and my travels, I can't control this one. Thing is, I almost never make it home. 

I'm always packing a whole room full of things, sometimes it's my dorm room from college or another space, and miss the plane. Or I miss the plane for another reason. Or I make it on the plane but it's the wrong flight or we had to be re-routed. 

The one time I made it home.... my parents were back together again. They had a bad marriage namely due to my mother. I'm a girl who was raised by her father (and my brother in the margins). I reverted to maybe an 11 year old. And I was looking out my childhood bedroom window watching it snow. While avoiding my screaming mother.

I still have this dream and I can't make it home ever again. I'm always packing and packing and packing and never make the plane again.

I can travel other places just fine, demonstrate powers in other realms I don't have here, and I always, ALWAYS come back. I can wake up when I want and do whatever I want. That's why this one experience in particular is so unnerving, and considering the subject matter, so personal.

By the way, does anyone else dream like they're in the movies? I almost always dream like I'm in the audience of a theater watching the dream on a screen. I think it keeps me removed enough from that realm that I can reach in there and get me out if needed. Just a theory. But also my dissociative identity playing itself out in my subconscious in general.

Oh well. What say ye?