What's New With Me! What's New With You?

My life is weird right now. I work at a grocery store and I hate it. Long story short, I used to love it, my bosses changed, new bosses hated me, I became a grumpy little gremlin, things aren't going well. I hung out with my roommates the other night and just didn't wake up for work. I didn't call or anything, so that's a "no-call, no-show," aka the cardinal sin of retail employment. I went in the next day and put in my two weeks, and they informed me the "captain" would be talking to me on Wednesday. But I all ready have another job lined up, and there's something empowering about knowing that I don't have to care about anything he says. I know he'll try to tell me I'm ungrateful (false), that I don't care about the company (true, because the company doesn't care about me), and that I'm an adult and should behave like one (I would if I cared, dude). They didn't give me my last two cost of living raises, and I found out last week I would be losing my health insurance. Forgive me for not caring, master.

Anyway, I'm finally making a job change after wanting to for SO long. There's a sort of job inertia that takes over you once you reach a certain age, I think. When I was younger I went where the wind blew me, and I liked it. But as you get older you worry what people think about you. Do people think I can't hold down a job? Do people think I'm a fuckup? Is everyone more sure of everything than I am? You start to think you HAVE to keep the job you hate because it's the adult thing to do. But I'm applying for a job right now that I'm excited about! My friend works at an old folks' home and talked to her manager, who said they would basically give me a job on her recommendation if I put in an application. I'm going to drop it off tomorrow. I'd be working in the dining room and kitchen, the front desk, and help bringing dinner to all the old folks in their buildings. It's a pay cut, but it's a ten minute walk from my house, I don't have to sell anything, I don't have to deal with "customers," and, most importantly, I'll finally have a job where I'm doing something good for the world. I feel so bad thinking of grandmas and grandpas just sitting there with no one to visit them. I want to make their days brighter, and maybe eventually get involved with enrichment activities like music and bingo and craft sessions. 

All in all, I'm excited. Stressed about the way I'm leaving Trader Joe's, but excited. I want to go back to school eventually, but in the meantime, if I have to have a lower-paying job, I'd like to do something that matters. Something I actually like where I don't want to jump off a cliff everyday, or sabotage myself because I subconsciously want to get fired!! I'm really excited for whatever is to come, for the first time in a while. It's also snowing right now, it's almost Christmas, and I have a great boyfriend and we're gonna make waffles on Christmas morning and open our presents. 

The world is always a little fucked, but everything is always a little okay! I hope whoever's reading this is doing okay too! 

Love, 

Greenleaf