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I often wonder if the term above is truly the reason why I'm always getting myself stuck in the situations I've come across in my life these last 6 years. I wouldn't just say this applies strictly to relationships either, I feel like I subconsciously do it in my own life. Whether it be listening to sad depressing music, accepting a task that I'd rather not do, but being the ride or die in the romantic relationship setting. I always seem to find myself suffering through things when I probably shouldn't always have to.
Living away from my family hasn't been hard per say, but I do think the way they brought me up has a lot to do with these issues. From a young age I found myself unable to focus on what I was supposed to be doing, and only things that I really cared to do. This as a result, led to quite frequent times of be being grounded to my room or on some form of restriction at almost all times. The funny part is, I never feel like I learned much from those things, I simply found new loopholes until it got me in trouble again. This continued in a cycle well after I left home, but suddenly, the consequences just became that much worse.
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Tir3d.P4p3r
Mm, i dont think its emotional masochism. Sad music is enjoyable bcs sadness can feel comforting, accepting a task is maybe the need to be seen as a good person or not seem selfish, and so on. Self sabotage is a thing. Its good you're aware of it, its only a matter of time before you learn how to stop it too. Emotional pain can feel good bcs its an intense feeling, and for people that felt pain a lot, it becomes comforting to be sad and confusing or scary to feel happy. Masochism means wanting to be hurt by another person, its not about enjoying all and any pain. Its a common misconception tho, even the DSM-5 describes masochists as self-sabotaging, depressed people that cant accept happiness, I think that needs a better term.