Life Update 1

It's been 4 months since I posted here. Well, you see, I got really busy with my life. I discovered new manga/webtoons to read; new anime/movies to watch; and I also started practicing my drawing skills. I'm still bad at it, though, but I can see a little progress and I will celebrate for that. In my academic life, I'm still very busy. I'm kinda happy because I see myself taking leadership roles and I also try to take up responsibilities in our class. I never really thought that I would be active in these kind of things. Also, I'm still volunteering in Night School Program. Surprising, isn't it? Knowing myself, I really suck at handling responsibilities. I always back out whenever I experience challenges in the new things that I try. But, hey, I'm not like that anymore. I am changing for the better because I know that I deserve more.

Looking back, I used to keep my hair "normal". I was scared of looking ugly and failing other people. But now, I cut my hair for fun. I even bleached it. I have now a shag haircut and it really felt nice while I was cutting my hair. To be very honest, I think I really suit this hairstyle. I can't even stop looking at myself in my virtual class camera. I also got fatter than a year ago. I'm still working on my body image, I mean, I guess I love myself but I always wanted to have a fit body,  at least. You know what's to be celebrated for? I don't starve myself anymore. Last year, when I dropped a noticeable number of pounds, I used to like eat once or twice a day. Yeah, it might seem normal but that was the time when I try to limit my calorie intake to 800 calories per meal.

Unhealthy, I know. 

I even exhaust myself every night doing workouts and I also feel bad whenever I skip a day. But, I'm not like that anymore. I just eat and try to be happy. I just try talking to myself, assuring her that beauty comes in all forms. I don't know, maybe I'll just work on my mentality first before I try to achieve my ideal body type. 

Another thing that I want to share to you is that I prefer being alone now. You see, when I was like in my darkest times, I used to seek for someone to save me. Gross, right? I cringe whenever I remember those times when I yearn for someone. I don't know what happened but I just stopped caring about it. Maybe I've come to the point of my life when I just know which things to prioritize. I feel so free now that I don't chase for someone. I like spending time with myself. I still do simp for other people, though, but it's not like I wanted to date them.

I almost forgot about the big news. Lorde already published a new single! I was so happy when I first heard the song. It's called Solar Power. This song is really different from her past songs. It's a very happy song compared to her past albums. I love it so much.

bye i guess lol see u soon!!