I miss my toxic ex

But then it started getting very toxic and controlling, like he started arguments everyday and we couldn't have a good day together, he knew what I didn't like and he continued to do the things I've told him not to do.He always tried to gaslight me and manipulate me and say it was always my fault but I literally tried so hard not to piss him off.

Fast forward to around June/July 2020.We had a little break and started to fix things and it was starting to feel like when we first met, we did things we used to do, for example, play Roblox and play Gta (it was an online relationship so i'm glad it was easier to get out of),but then the same cycle started to happen again, but at this time I was more nonchalant so I decided to block him...

He decided to email me, yes email me, and spam me with messages asking for me to unblock him and take me back.I did that plenty of times because we got so attached to each other,we hardly went 3 days without some sort of communication. Around February 2022 (big fast forward,but it was literally the same for around a year) He started to claim that we was only friends but he still asked relationship like questions (Like "where u going?,who are u going with",just very controlling things too), so that's when I decided enough was actually enough and that's when I told him I was going on a date, he seemed upset and asked if I was being for real.

The boy I was going on a date with did not last long we only had a first date and that was it, i told my ex about it and he asked what happened, he seemed really happy and relieved tho.

Now here was our last encounter...(3 weeks without talking is a stretch considering we couldn't go 3 days wether being together or not) so he had really pissed me off and we didn't talk for 3 days at first, can't really remember why but we had an argument and he pushed it too far,at 7am

around 3 weeks ago I sent him my sextape and he was delirious but he tried to still talk to me, then he asked to call me, then we started to talk for a bit and I honestly didn't want to talk to him at all I was over it's I pretended to fall asleep and he hung up, then he told me to call him when I woke up but I didn't.i told him I was going out and then he's obviously asking who im going with and where im goings simply told him don't worry about it because its not his business, he does this thing where he will spam my phone to ask if I want to talk or note mean its very obvious. but I have pride so I keep everything to myself.i didn't reply to his paragraph if I wanted to talk or not, instead I 'accidentally' sent a text to him that said "You're outside"and that was the last I have heard from him.I blocked him for a week to see if he would email me,he didn't.

Guys I actually miss him but I don't know what he would say if I texted him, and I also have pride :(

What do I do?