Grief Doesn't Have An Expiration Date

I didn't think I would ever arrive.

I have grieved the loss of our friendship for almost four years.
Just because I have accepted that it is over,
doesn't mean that I don't still miss you
or hope that we will be friends again some day.

I have just accepted what is.

But now, I am grieving the loss of my other best friend.
It's hard to believe he's been gone for almost 2.5 years.
I wish I could call him and reminisce about our times together.
but I am left to remember our memories alone.

Like our car rides.
Our midnight hang outs.
Late night phone calls.
2am cuddle sessions.
Going to horror movies.
Your stoned voice mail messages.
I miss your stories.
I miss your hugs.
I miss hearing your voice.
I miss you.

I hate that you're no longer here.
I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye.
I hate that I didn't drive down to see you when you moved back to our state.
I hate that I missed so much.
And that there is no way to make up for it.

I hope you know that you are loved and missed.
I hope you're laughing at me for wanting to get a memorial tattoo for you.
I hope you visit me in a dream soon 
so you can tell me which band you liked.
(Was it Blue October or Blue Oyster Cult????).

I hope you're at peace.
I hope you can feel all the love we are sending to you.

I miss you.