Pleased as Punch

I used to do this all the time back in the day. 

I don't remember anymore how to make backgrounds n shit. HTML used to be a second language when Myspace was a thing. And I guess I cleared that mental room for memorizing scripts. No iCloud for the brain. Someone invent that, please. 

Anyone who wants to remind me can feel free to in the comments below. Fee: several e-hugs. 

A thought:

I am in a place of indecision 90% of the time in my life. The other 10%, I am so completely sure of whatever it is, that it's essentially fixed in stone. Immutable. 

Funnily enough, part of that 10% is a lack of trust in my ability to make good decisions. Hence the other 90%. 

I guess most of us are a little like that. Nothin' special. :) 


A thought: 


It's okay to not be unique. You're still special. It's actually nice to be like other people. Comforting to know there are answers out there. Like how if you get a weird bump you know deep in your heart that someone on Reddit totally had the same bump and already asked about it so you can go find out what this bump is that way. Being DELIBERATELY alone in some fantasy "I'm So Unique" land, ESPECIALLY one that doesn't allow you to connect with others, isn't some, like, wacky thing that makes you cooler and more mysterious. It's like trying to grow a plant in the dark without water. It ultimately stunts you. I worked at a movie theatre from, like, 2005 to 2010. (<--Am i old?) And often lil stray corn kernels would fall out of the sacks that were stored in the ice room, and they'd roll into the floor drain, and try to grow in the cold water in the dark. They looked like skinny pale dead things, like those wiggly guys in front of Ursula's bigass whale skeleton lair. They looked old, and not in a cute way, even though they were just starting their short lives. One time one of them ended up outside. Nobody in management believed us rural hick kids that it was corn, because there had recently been landscaping done, and nobody believes rural hick kids about anything, especially if they're working for minimum wage near hot oil. So management watered it lovingly. And in the sun, unfettered, surrounded by other plants and good dirt and very ugly cars, it grew into a bigass stalk of corn, with cobs and all. And management was like, oh shit y'all were right! And it kinda became our mascot. We were eventually forced by corporate to take it down, but do you get my meaning? The same corn kernels, about 10 feet from each other, different sunshine scenarios. Step into the damn light if you want to grow some bigass cobs, yo. Like... look. If you know someone who's really freaking immature, likely they are also super proud of being a loner. And I don't mean immature like they are in their 40s and still truly believe that they are Jack Skellington. I mean like, emotionally stunted. Unable to be authentic, unable to be honest, unable to connect to people in a meaningful way and stick with it. And also possibly think they're truly Jack Skellington. Or Gomez, but don't actually have any Gomez game at all. Don't fall into the trap of needing to be "unique" in order to be special or important or meaningful. Unique isn't even really a thing. I'm not saying you have to suddenly be an extrovert. You don't have to change who you are. You can be an introvert who still like... connects with people. Who doesn't deceive people, or treat them like side characters, lying and cheating because it's all about You and Your Needs and They Couldn't Understand, or call people sheep just because they like pumpkin spice lattes or Uggs or like, I dunno, Katy Perry. Hot Topic is mainstream, now. Calm down. You can empathize and feel warmth and be glad you have something in common with someone else, without needing to be around people all the time, or be a people-person, or be a bubbly ray of sunshine. Morticia wasn't a bubbly ray of sunshine, and she was authentic and kind and giving-of-self af. There's a difference between liking your alone time, and trying to maintain a loner image/screwing up your relationships by refusing to open up. And if you're in that second category... what are you so afraid of? Because it's fear, you know. It has nothing to do with you being more unique than other people, and it's not about other people being assholes. As a whole, most people aren't assholes. It has everything to do with your fear, with your ability to jump off the proverbial cliff and be brave. Worth investigating. I dunno. Talkspace has a sale, or so I heard on a podcast. There are coupon codes. I'm just sayin'.  



Anyway, I'm not saying anything of consequence. Mostly, I'm hungry. I'm gonna go make ramen from scratch* from the bone broth I made from scratch a few days ago. Wanna know how to make your own bone broth? You can google it, or I can blog up my recipe. I promise to cuss a lot. Let me know in the comments below. 



Bored? Go listen to some tunes. I have a new song coming out within a week, if I work up the guts. Someone's maybe not gonna be happy, so I'm in the 90% unsure place about posting it. What do y'all reckon? Should I be brave? 

www.soundcloud.com/CatGreenfield