a burnout hoping things’ll work out

feeling odd about college applications coming up.... there’s one school that might be fairly easy for me to get into, considering it’s a liberal arts school with a weird curriculum and is far more interesting in what projects you submit than your high school grades. i still feel like i’ll fall dramatically short, but we’ll see.. if i do, going to a state college really doesn’t seem like a raw deal at all. i’m worried about scholarships and so forth, but for now i’m focusing on building my little portfolio... im going to start writing essays on subjects that captivate me, like Bashō or the philosophical grounds of a book i read. having access to the libraries once i move southeast (only for a year to finish out high school) is going to be absolutely huge for me and i just can’t wait for that. i really hope things work out. i am officially a burnt-out high school student, so i don’t know if they will go so smoothly.